10 Jul Married To Bill
Last week I came into the house and noticed it felt warmer than usual. I checked the thermostat and turned it down because it was a really warm day. During the next few hours, I noticed that it kept cutting on and off. I was timing it like I timed my contractions before Taylor was born. It was running every ten minutes, then eight, five and ended up cutting on and off every 30 seconds. It didn’t take long until it completely shut down and reality hit…it was HOT!!! We called the repair company and basically said we would pay them a million dollars if they fixed it that day! The Scheers do NOT suffer silently. It was fixed and it wasn’t a million dollars but it did make me think.
I never think about the air conditioning in my home until….we don’t have it. I go through my day and almost expect it to always be working without me giving it a thought. I am sure there were warning signs along the way that it needed maintenance but it didn’t cross my mind. It’s air conditioning. It’s supposed to just work! There’s a million other things I have to deal with. This shouldn’t be one of them! Cold air is not something we skimp on! We don’t keep the thermostat on 78 when it’s 105 degree weather. That is why we work and get a paycheck. We like it cold and comfortable in our home. You get it!
Bill and I dated for 4 years before we got married. We had the most romantic engagement. We were at an event, got into a fight and went outside to argue by the air conditioning unit. We are both strongly opinionated and somewhat hard-headed, so that’s just us. To both of our surprise, he ended up proposing in the middle of the argument! Bill and I are celebrating being married for 30 years next week. We cannot be old enough to be married for 30 years but we are!!
We have gone through three decades in our marriage and I think they have all been unique. The first ten years were in our 20’s and early 30’s where we were just trying to figure out who we were and raising two small children. I loved those years. We worked hard, lived in St. Louis, Perryton, Texas for a summer, Dallas, Texas, Hemet, California and Tulsa. The next ten were spent starting Guts Church along with a third child, sports, elementary, middle school and still figuring out things. The last ten have been the teenage years, college, a wedding and our 21st year of Guts Church. Our youngest heads off to OU in less than a month and boom….we are empty-nesters. I look at these 30 years like my air conditioner story. You can get busy. You have kids, sports, work, friends and a life. You keep moving through the stages of life and expect your home to be cool when you walk in. You shouldn’t have to think about the marriage part because you’re both adults. The kids are the ones that really need you. They aren’t going to raise themselves! Your work needs you. You have to keep getting promoted and that takes work. We have to think retirement, right?
A marriage just doesn’t maintain itself. It takes maintenance. There may be warning signs that we overlook because other things take precedent. I get it. There are times when you have to take care of an elderly parent or a child that needs extra guidance but don’t overlook the obvious. Your marriage needs attention and not every ten years, but daily. I have a feeling that I’m just getting into the REAL work that a marriage needs. What do we do now that we are in our fifties and the kids are raised? I hadn’t thought of that one. The hard work I heard was supposed to be the first ten years. We planned and got pregnant a month before our one year anniversary. We have always had children around and we have loved it, but now what? Maintenance. Work on your marriage. It takes time. It takes prayer. It takes work. Invest in your marriage everyday. Don’t wait until you have to start timing the contractions and it dies. You don’t want to have to call the repair man. It may cost you much more than a million dollars….
I love you Bill,